CSA is dedicated to thoughtful and open minded assessment of the issue of climate change, its coverage, strategic analyses, and potential remediation approaches. And doing so in keeping with the idea, as Matthew Nisbet and Dietram Shuefele likewise suggest, to “facilitate conversations with the public that recognize, respect, and incorporate differences in knowledge, values, perspectives, and goals”; and recognize and incorporate the concerns that many have over potential forms of redress.
Not a humor site. Yet the following short piece is a parody, originally posted as a comment (in response to another comment, quoted at the outset), in the U.K.’s Guardian newspaper. Not recognized as parody – raising some interesting questions and points – it was originally removed by moderators.
Unfortunately, devoid of its somewhat veiled context as just another part of long comment sections to Climate Change articles, where multiple claims are repeatedly parroted – and where it was intended – it loses much of its humor and potency. Yet it was satire, in the vein, and in light of, ongoing comment and popular blogopshere claims made about the Climate Change issue. And was intended to be both thought provoking, and clearly – if though as a complete surprise, perhaps to some not quite unequivocally – a parody. Unedited, and uncut:
We need to cut world CO2 emissions as soon as possible and have in place contingency planning to deal with a world of increasing temperatures, extreme weather and food prices.
“No we don’t!
Climate always changes.
Some of those changes have been much more than this current fussyfit is over.
Climate scientists are big L… oops, wait, I better change that word, the moderators might not let it through… umm, fibbers.
Most, anyway. Some are honest. Just mistaken, as science has been oh so so many times throughout the ages. Even Galileo was practically persecuted.
Climate change advocates (most of whom are bonkers), also have an agenda – they hate fossil fuel because it also pollutes and harms everybody’s health – so they “say” – and in the case of coal, strips mountainsides and puts mercury in the air – a 100% natural substance.
And they also want more government “telling us what to do.” They like big government.
Al Gore didn’t put his money where his buttocks were, he invested in “clean energy,” the same stuff he has been clamoring for. Not more oil and gas, the same stuff he has been clamoring for us to end reliance on.
I know, incredible, right?
You can’t trust him.
Or scientists. In case you have already forgotten.
Also, the earth is not warming. If anything, it is very slightly cooling. See the most recent data. And as anybody with any common sense will tell you, the most recent data is the most important.
What will it take to get you dodo heads to see that??
Also, are you not aware that more ocean rise – if we even have any, which is a fairy tale since the earth is stable and constant, and climate is hard to change so we sure as heck can’t change it with some tiny percentage increase out of the whole atmosphere – will create MORE, not less, beachfront property? How dense do you have to be? More ocean = more ocean front.
Most climate claims are myths. Created by people, I remind you, with an agenda.
Or just big alarmists who get all panicky when the microwave beeper goes off. Afraid of a little hot weather.
Haven’t you ever sunbathed before?? This will increase yearly per day opportunity. If you’re even right.
But you’re not. All you have to go on is your belief.
As for so callled “scientists,” they just want grant money. (And no one wants scientists to show there will no global warming!! No one is interested in that outcome, so discovering that, won’t get a scientist money, or famous.)
Don’t believe them on anything. Ever. Or at least not on climate change, which is the only field they get grant money on. (Normally scientist is one of those rare professions that eats at the local soup kitchen – I used to volunteer there, I know.)
If you want to know something on science, the last person you should turn to is a scientist.
You should turn to a blog, where real research is done. Scientists make mistakes,and want to be part of a crowd. Unlike skeptics, who are individualists. I know this, I always argue with other skeptics. We constantly question and challenge each other and find faults and mistakes in various arguments, and consider all angles, so we are getting the best science and analysis possible. Unlike you clones.
It’s also just amazing how blind all you warmists are. Do you really want the UN taking over our country? Do you really want to hurt poor people. (I know that most of you are never concerned about the poor, and now it really shows.)
And, what proves that you are all hypocrites: I don’t like to stereotype, but a lot of you warmies are also greenies.
Well, what do you think a warmer world means?
You’re obviously not very smart greenies. Plants aren’t like us. For one, they can’t talk. And sports?They stink.
Unless… that sport is taking in carbon dioxide! At which they rock.
And they take CO2 in (largely). Not respire it out (largely). So they need CO2. If you dummies are right by sheer accident (and that is all it will be), then plants will grow better. We’ll have more food!
Trees will grow faster too, taking even more CO2 out of the air. (If we let CO2 get too high, we might have to start worrying about the ice age we were otherwise headed for in thousands of years until we almost beautifully “balanced” it out, because all that CO2 may grow trees so big and fast they’ll take most of the CO2 back out of the air, and then we’ll all be out in the cold.)
No offense, warmists are dummies.
Either that, or they’re not being honest.
Or maybe they’re just being led by an agenda they don’t even realize.“